Ever Feel Like Anxiety Is Just Who You Are?
Why anxiety feels permanent is something so many teens and young adults struggle to put into words. You wake up feeling anxious. You go to sleep overthinking. And in between, it feels like you’re carrying something heavy that never quite lets up. It’s not just a bad day. It’s every day. You might have even said to yourself, “This is just how I am.”
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and this blog is for you.
In Episode 4 of the Block Out the Noise Podcast, we talk about something so many teens and young adults feel but don’t always know how to say out loud: the fear that anxiety has become part of your identity.
But what if that isn’t true? What if the reason why anxiety feels permanent is because it’s been around for so long—not because it’s who you are?
👇 Here’s what we’ll cover. Click on a section to jump ahead, or scroll through to take it all in at your own pace.
Let’s explore that.
If you’re working on building confidence and want something to help you get started, check out our post on How to Feel Confident Even When You’re Second-Guessing Yourself. It’s a great starting point for learning how to build trust in yourself even when doubt is loud.
Why Anxiety Feels Permanent
You’ve had it for years. It’s in your body, your thoughts, your decisions. It’s become part of your routine. But here’s the truth:
Just because something has been around for a long time doesn’t mean it’s part of who you are.
Think of it like a heavy backpack you’ve worn every single day. At first, it was uncomfortable. You noticed the pressure, the strain. But over time, your body adjusted. You forgot what it felt like not to carry it. But that doesn’t mean the backpack is part of your body. It just means you’ve grown used to carrying it.
This is what anxiety does. It latches onto thoughts like:
- “If I don’t worry, I won’t be prepared.”
- “If I stop overthinking, I’ll mess up.”
- “This is just who I am.”
But these thoughts aren’t facts. They’re fear in disguise.
They might have been helpful once—maybe anxiety helped you stay alert for a test, or prepare for a big day. But over time, those thoughts stop protecting you and start limiting you. They convince you that safety means staying small.
The truth? You don’t need fear to be responsible. You don’t need anxiety to be motivated. You can care deeply, plan well, and take action without fear running the show.
Step One: Understand That Fear Isn’t Fact
Let’s break it down with a simple example:
You want to text someone, but the thought hits: “They’ll think I’m annoying.”
Pause and ask: Is this actually happening? Or is my brain predicting it?
Most of the time, anxiety isn’t based on what is happening. It’s based on what might happen. And your brain, trying to keep you safe, fills in the blanks with worst-case scenarios.
Try this next time anxiety shows up:
- Ask: “Do I know this is true?”
- Ask: “Have I seen this happen before?”
- Ask: “What’s another way to look at this?”
You can even write down your fears and then next to them, write evidence for and against that fear. This helps rewire your brain to stop treating fear as truth.
Let’s say the evidence actually points to someone not appreciating your presence. That hurts—but it also gives you clarity. It reminds you that you deserve relationships where you don’t have to shrink yourself to be accepted.
If you want more support around reframing thoughts and tackling fear-based patterns, read our deep dive on Why Anxiety Really Holds You Back.
Step Two: Prove to Yourself That You’re More Than Your Anxiety (Even If It Feels Permanent)
You’ve lived with anxiety so long, you might not even know what it feels like to not be anxious. But you are more than the fear you’ve been carrying.
Try this reflective exercise:
1. Name 3 things you like about yourself. Then ask: Would I still have these if my anxiety went away? Most of the time, the answer is yes. Your kindness, your loyalty, your drive—those aren’t created by anxiety. They’re part of you.
2. Remember 3 times you took action, even with anxiety. Examples might include:
- Going to an event even though you were nervous.
- Turning in a project you weren’t sure was perfect.
- Saying no to someone when you usually say yes.
Examples of this might look like a teen who’s been avoiding speaking in class. One week, they raise their hand. The next, they contribute a full thought. Another example might be someone who’s afraid to meet new people but decides to join a school club, showing up for 10 minutes the first time, then staying longer each week.
These aren’t huge moments, but they’re powerful. And they matter even more when you’re trying to unlearn why anxiety feels permanent. Each one is proof that anxiety doesn’t get to decide who you are.
Step Three: Get Curious About What’s Underneath the Anxiety
Sometimes, anxiety fills space where we’re afraid to feel something else—like sadness, grief, loneliness, or even anger. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed out of nowhere, there may be something deeper your brain is trying to avoid.
Instead of pushing anxiety away, what if you got curious?
Ask:
- “What’s actually bothering me right now?”
- “What am I afraid might happen?”
- “What need isn’t being met?”
Getting curious doesn’t mean getting stuck in overthinking. It means gently asking questions so you can respond with self-compassion.
This kind of emotional exploration is a skill—and if you want help developing it, working with a therapist can be a powerful next step. Davis-Smith Mental Health supports teens and young adults across Illinois. For those outside Illinois, you can find a provider through Psychology Today.
A Daily Challenge to Start Separating From Anxiety
Here’s a small but powerful practice you can start today:
Each night before bed, write down:
- One thing you did today that wasn’t driven by fear.
- One strength you saw in yourself that anxiety didn’t create.
- One kind thing you said or thought about yourself.
This trains your brain to see the you beyond the anxious noise. And it reminds you that the anxiety isn’t the one calling the shots—you are.
Want more ideas to add to this daily practice? Visit The Jed Foundation for mental health tools designed for teens and college students.
And don’t forget—you can also download the free Anxiety Survival Toolkit with practical, easy-to-use strategies.
FAQs: Why Anxiety Feels So Hard to Shake
Final Thoughts: You Are Not Your Anxiety
Anxiety might feel permanent—but it isn’t who you are.
You are not broken. You are not too much. And you are not defined by what your anxiety tells you in your hardest moments.
Yes, you’ve carried it for a long time. Yes, it’s shaped some of your habits. But it’s not your whole story. You are growing, evolving, and learning how to live beyond those old patterns.
Every time you choose to speak kindly to yourself… Every time you try again after fear told you not to… Every time you look for hope when it’s easier to shut down… You’re building something stronger than fear.
That’s the journey. And you don’t have to walk it alone.
Until next time—
Keep moving forward. Trust yourself.
And never forget: You have what it takes to block out the noise.
